How do we address Traumatic Grief?
With the right kind of support and compassionate witnesses we can begin to share our story. We want to talk about our child, and so many non-bereaved just can’t quite understand or be with us in the intense pain we feel after their death.
Grieving a traumatic loss asks us to turn toward the reality of the loss, to feel all the emotions of it. That can seem very scary early on, the emotions are so big they feel like they will surely kill us if we allow them open space. It helps to have a companion(s) who has survived the death of their own child and can hold the deep space that’s required to allow all the emotions to move.
As we begin to trust we can feel those feeling, as we turn toward the discomfort, we can be curious, notice where the biggest feelings are in our body, and acknowledged them - then they can move and some relief may follow. Grieving is love for your beloved who is tragically no longer here in their physical form – love that seems to have no place to go. Grief is your longing, your love…it is sacred…and painful.
We can turn toward that love and all that comes with it…together.
We will hone skills for emotional regulation…learning how to bear the toughest moments.
We’ll discover ways to bring self-compassion and self-care into your daily life. We will get specific to YOUR needs.
Please know…you are not alone.
Who will my offerings best serve?
➡ Parents who have lost a child due to
mental health challenges and suicide.
➡ Parents who have lost a child due to
substance related causes.
➡ Parents who are living with the threat of loss due to
mental health crisis, suicidal ideation, and substance use.
Let’s find a place for you to start. We can always change as we go along. You may adjust as we work together, and your needs become more clear to you.
One on One Processing Sessions
We will connect either by Zoom video or phone call, or even in person if that’s possible.
There will be a requirement for at least one meeting with me before entering a Support Group. This will be vital in helping us to create a comfortable start, for you to begin to build trust and feel safe before joining the Support Group.
Beyond that you may request a one on one whenever you feel it of value, and when scheduling allows.
Walk and Talk Processing Sessions
I have found Walk and Talk sessions to be very helpful in connecting what’s going on in the brain and body. Movement of the body promotes movement of our thoughts and emotions. That is a primary goal, to help your emotions move, for relief and to avoid physical symptoms and health concerns. Experiencing a mind-body connection significantly helps emotional regulation. So whenever desired and possible we can explore what the options are for getting outside.
GROUP PROGRAMS
There are 2 options for you to choose from. Either a 3 or 6 month Program. The longer commitment offers you a better foundation and support. To be completely transparent – your grieving will be a lifelong journey. The first couple of years, the edges are so sharp, and of course you are welcome to continue here as long as it serves you.
After our one-on-one time together, you will enter a twice monthly Support Group with other parents who are enduring their own unique version of the loss of their child yet have the experience of similar circumstances. The more commonalities you share the deeper the connection and relatability.
The Support Group will be scheduled in advance – example; every 2 nd and 4 th Tuesday at 5 p.m. CST. We will have a short mindfulness practice just to settle into our space together. You will be invited to turn off your video camera for complete relaxation and to encourage bringing full presence and mute your audio to create a quiet space for everyone.
We will then one at a time do a check-in. Your time to share with the group whatever is present and wants to be witnessed. You may have questions, or talk about your feelings, longing, missing your beloved.
When all have checked in, we will then go into topic discussion and resource sharing, time allowing.
We will reserve time to end each session sharing a fond memory – like a birthday, a vacation, a funny story, or simply some sweet characteristic of your child.
The 3-month program of twice monthly facilitated Support Groups is $300.
The 6-month program of twice monthly facilitated Support Groups is $550.
A one-year program of twice monthly facilitated Support Groups is $900.
There is a sliding scale available for those in need. As well as an occasional benefactor sponsored scholarship.
Please inquire directly to me for availability.
As it can be arranged a once annual in person Retreat at the Selah Carefarm will be offered for each Support Group. Specific details TBD. General information about the retreats structure can be found here…
https://www.missfoundation.org/request-availability-for-traumatic-grief-carefarm-program/
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to working with you, companioning you and getting to know you and your child. Consider a complimentary call for questions or email me at terridemontrond@gmail.com.
TESTIMONIALS
“TERRI, WHILE DEALING WITH THE WORST PAIN IMAGINABLE HERSELF, HAS FOUND ROOM IN HER BIG HEART TO HELP OTHERS NAVIGATE THESE WILD WATERS. WITH HER, YOU FEEL HEARD, SEEN, AND HELD. SHE IS A COMPASSIONATE AND BEAUTIFUL SOUL.
Sheila White – Nathan’s mom
“TERRI BRINGS A NON JUDGMENTAL WARMTH AND OPENNESS WITH HER INTO EVERY INTERACTION. SHE OPERATES FROM A BASELINE OF KINDNESS AND DEEP EMPATHY, AND I FELT COMFORTABLE AND “KNOWN” BY HER ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. I ALWAYS FEEL SEEN AND HEARD BY TERRI, AND NEVER SCARED TO SHARE THE DARKEST MOMENTS WITH HER- SHE IS A GIFT TO ANYONE IN DEEP GRIEF. YOU ARE A GIFT, DEAR TERRI”
Jesse– Gidi’s momma
“TERRI DEMONTROND IS A WONDERFULLY WARM WISE WOMAN WHO LISTENED AND SUPPORTED ME THROUGH MY FIRST YEAR OF EARLY GRIEF AFTER LOSING MY SON. HER LIVED EXPERIENCE, COMPASSION AND KNOWLEDGE HELPED NORMALIZE MY EXPERIENCE AND GIVE GLIMMERS OF HOPE THAT SURVIVAL IS POSSIBLE.”
Pam Downey – Ronan’s mom